What is the best way to improve life?

What is the best way to improve life?

Two men visit a Zen master.

The first man says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. What’s it like?”

The Zen master asks: “What was your old town like?”

The first man responds: “It was dreadful. Everyone was hateful. I hated it.”

The Zen master says: “This town is very much the same. I don’t think you should move here.”

The first man leaves and the second man comes in.

The second man says: “I’m thinking of moving to this town. What’s it like?”

The Zen master asks: “What was your old town like?”

The second man responds: “It was wonderful. Everyone was friendly and I was happy. Just interested in a change now.”

The Zen master says: “This town is very much the same. I think you will like it here.”

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When I read that story, I always like to imagine that the two men came from the same town. The easiest way to improve your life is to change your perspective. Does that always make it the best way? I don’t know.

But it sure should be the first thing you try.

Also:

1. The people who experience the most shame have the least reason to feel ashamed and the people who experience the least shame have the most reason to feel ashamed. The greater the person’s conscience, the more likely it is that they experience shame.
2. Not all human behavior is ‘reactive’, as many modern mental health professionals would lead you to believe. There are ‘predatory personalities’ who purposefully seek to harm others.
3. We do not see others as they are, we see them as we are. That is the reason that kind hearted people often get manipulated and it is also the reason that toxic people are naturally paranoid.
4. The vast majority of humans are under the control of “other people’s” will. Most of those “other people” are psychopaths. Most humans are dissociated from themselves and programmed to follow the will of the few who are aware.
5. The universal law of polarity proves that opposites attract. Until a person is fully conscious of their choices, they will be unconsciously drawn to people who have the opposite qualities.
6. The more authentic a person is, the more likely they are to be exploited. Predators seek out authenticity.
7. It is emotions that are used to manipulate people. A person’s mind cannot be manipulated unless it is first granted access to by the emotions. Once access is granted, the mind can be used to serve another’s will. Be cautious when you have a strong emotional response to someone you do not know well.
8. Power is the root of all evil. Money is only a symbol of power. People who have the most control over others know that there are more effective ways to control people than money.
9. The new age ideologies that preach that “It’s all love” and “Everything belongs” are half truths aimed at lulling humans to sleep and keeping them from protecting themselves.
10. The more intelligent a person is, the more likely they are to question their own beliefs.
11. There is a universal force that opposes the evolution of consciousness. It is both personal and non-personal. Resisting it is necessary for self actualization.
12. Many modern gurus and spiritual teachers are psychopaths.
13. When a person does not resist the forces that oppose evolution, they are left alone. If you want to have an easy life, lose your integrity.
14. The law of attraction is easiest for people who are not very smart. The more intelligent a person is, the more difficult it is for them to focus. The LOA requires intense focus so it is difficult for highly intelligent people. The exception to this rule is psychopaths. Psychopaths are able to focus very well. Non-psychopathic, intelligent people can certainly train their minds to focus but it requires much more practice.
15. Emotional freedom is not so much about non-attachment as it is about loyalty to your own True Self.
16. The true test of a person’s character can be judged by how they behave when given absolute power.
17. Sometimes the most powerful statement you can make is silence.
18. Most of the harm that is done in the world is not by evildoers, but by the lack of action on the part of bystanders.
19. Manifestation is a top down process. It begins in your mind with a thought, it is then amplified in your heart by your emotions, and it is brought into form through action.
20. Self awareness is a bottom up process. It begins with a sense of groundedness in your roots. It is given meaning in your heart. And it is brought to awareness in your mind.
21. You can judge a person’s level of consciousness by how they react to struggles. A conscious person uses struggles as a conduit for growth. An unconscious person allows struggles to pull them further into unconsciousness.
22. The things that we cling to the tightest are the things that we are most certain to lose.
23. Avoidance is just another form of attachment. It is attachment to not having something. An emotionally healthy person does not need to attach to or avoid things.
24. Most people are living out some form of repetition compulsion. Until we are able to acknowledge and process our unconscious patterns, they will repeat until they either kill us or wake us up.
25. Decisions made from a place of fear will always leave you feeling unfulfilled, even if the outcome is in your favor. On the contrary, decisions made from a place of authentic power will leave you feeling fulfilled, even if the outcome is not in your favor.
26. The wiser a person is, the more reluctant they are to give advice. Be cautious of people who give out a lot of unsolicited advice.
27. How a person feels after they have had an interaction with you is an indicator of your True Self.
28. If you feel ashamed or exhausted after an interaction, you are probably dealing with a toxic person so proceed with caution.
29. The need for validation is the biggest cause of suffering for many people.
30. The body is a map for the soul. If done consciously, the physical body can be used as a tool for self actualization. This is the concept of yoga.
31. We are each living out an archetype. Avoiding the journey of our archetype results in depression. Embracing the journey of our archetype leads to bliss.
32. The body is a mirror of the subconscious mind. Trauma is stored in the subconscious mind, and therefore the body. Consciously releasing trauma from the body is one way to heal from trauma.
33. Feeling traumatized is a healthy response to abuse and violence. People who lack empathy do not experience events as traumatizing. It is not possible for a psychopath to develop PTSD.
34. For some people, the path to self actualization is about understanding that they are connected to all other beings. For others, the path to self actualization is about understanding that they have a separate identity that is independent from all other beings. Both are absolutely correct!
35. You can tell that a person is operating from their false self if their psychological structure is hierarchical. There is no hierarchy in the world of Truth. People who operate in a pecking order are living a lie.
36. The wiser a person is, the less likely they are to strongly identify with specific groups or ideologies.
37. Many physical illnesses are unresolved traumas that have not been brought into consciousness. Typically, as traumas are brought into consciousness, they move from physical pain, to emotional pain, and finally to spiritual pain before they are processed and released. Sometimes, this happens in the reverse order.
38. To become wiser, work on connecting the right and left hemispheres of your brain.
39. People like to watch movies about great adventures because they long for their own great adventure. Every great story of adventure is really about finding the Self.
40. Intelligent children are more likely to get bullied and less likely to be a bully themselves.
41. Humility is required for self actualization. For this reason, it is difficult for narcissists to become self aware.
42. Relinquishing the false self is the goal of self actualization. False selves are either power based or shame based. For obvious reasons, it is more likely that a person with a shame based false self will succeed in this mission.
43. People who can only see the good in themselves project out the bad onto others. People who can only see the bad in themselves project out the good onto others. A healthy person has the capability of seeing both the good and bad in themselves and others.
44. We all have an inner masculine and an inner feminine. People who are able to marry their inner masculine (spirit) with their inner feminine (soul) are living a life of Truth.
45. What we deny or reject within ourselves will show up outside of us in our relationships. Relationships with toxic people are indicators that we have ignored or disowned some part of ourselves.
46. There are people who have cut themselves off from their life source and must literally steal the energy of others in order to exist. When a person is not connected to his own life source, he will automatically (consciously or unconsciously) begin operating within the predatory cycle in order to survive.
47. People who are connected to their own life source (kundalini, chi, qi, holy spirit) must guard it like a dragon guards its castle.
48. Abusive relationships follow exactly the same pattern as cults. The only difference is the number of people involved.
49. An alarming and growing number of mental health professionals and clergy leaders are predatory personalities. These are ideal professions for psychopathic predators. Be exceptionally cautious with these people.
50. It is rare for a person with a narcissistic mother to find their way to adulthood emotionally intact. Most people end up with either narcissistic, borderline, codependent, or schizoid traits or C-PTSD.
51. The relationships that challenge us the most can also provide us with the greatest growth if we allow them to be used as a catalyst for personal change.
52. All predators, manipulators, and narcissists follow the same patterns of abuse. They need not be aware of the pattern, although some are.
53. In order to receive the things that are meant for us, we must let go of the things that no longer serve us.
54. The way to find your true calling is to take action. Follow your bliss and it will lead you to the goal.
55. Alcohol enlarges the ego. Marijuana shrinks it.
56. Your relationship to your True Self is more fulfilling than any other relationship you will ever have. The path to discovering it is the privilege of a lifetime.
57. People want you to perform well. As long as you don’t do better than them
58. The “Labelling” technique. The more you tell Jim that he’s an amazing leader, the greater likelihood he’ll actually become one.
59. Stop using social scripts like “how are you?” or “weather’s looking fine today, yeah?” They’re widely overused, makes you sound like a robot and destroys conversations before it gets good
60. Want more people to do a certain action? Present it as the norm. eg 92% of people will reuse their hotel towels. People have a tendency to follow the norm, rather than anything that deviates from it.
61. Physical contact, when done appropriately and at the right timing, greatly increases your likability factor (eg shoulder touches). People crave being noticed or recognised by others. This is one way to do it.
62. People are more motivated to prevent losses than win gains. To persuade, always speak in terms of what the person has to lose eg if you want to dissuade the public from using the supermarket’s grocery bags: instead of “get paid 5 cents if you bring your own shopping bag”, say “you will be charged 5 cents if you require us to supply a plastic bag”
63. We are enticed by the forbidden. The less something is available, the more people want it. Why do you think prohibition failed? Or why “goody two shoes” people secretly crave the potential entertainment from sex and nightclubs?
64. Theatrics are powerful. The more “grand” or “inspirational” your actions appear, the greater emotional impact they’ll have on others, which in turn would magnify your image as a leader. This is why acting classes and public speaking go hand in hand.
65. Not gonna lie: most people are passive, dull and reactive. Show initiative. Initiate the conversation with that guy or girl you’ve been wanting to talk to. Be more open to giving (not just receiving!) hugs. This will also greatly increase your likability factor and give you a reputation as a cheerful, charismatic and confident person, alongside distinguishing you (in a good way) from most people
66. Perception is everything. Cadbury’s, the British chocolate company, received many complaints that their diary milk bar didn’t taste like how it used to. The strange thing is, the only thing that was changed at all was the shape of the chocolate bar; no alterations were made to the taste
67. Social factors (fear of rejection) are powerful at keeping people in line, or with the group norm
68. Psychology (especially Social Psychology) is a powerful weapon. It can be used to help, support and empower the people around you.
69. Talking about your goals makes you less committed to fulfilling them
70. People want to be heard. An easy way to increase your likability factor is to listen to what they’re saying, letting them know that they have your full attention and concentration. Asking questions and paraphrasing also helps them know you’re listening intently.
71. Despite being associated with addictions, you can also utilise dopamine (the “feel good” hormone) to reach your goals. Plan “small wins” to achieve and reach them. Each small win causes a release of dopamine.
72. We associate - mostly unconsciously - objects, people or experiences to memories. Our favourite song could be of a mediocre tune (relatively speaking), but we love it because it’s associated with a happy memory.
73. We may not know ourselves. We may identify ourselves as “shy, introverted, non-party person” but are we really? How do we know that we aren’t restricting ourselves? Our identities have been shaped by a variety of factors, including social pressure. How do we know our true self hasn’t been bogged down by these?
74. Appeal to people’s emotions, then logic
75. Don’t speak of your successes. Let them be found out naturally. This increases its impact, because by speaking of it, you may be seen to be bragging.
76. To get someone to stop talking, show disinterestedness in your body language. This could be: looking away (averting eye contact), looking at your finger as you move it in circles around the table or stop giving indications that you’re listening (e.g stop nodding or saying “mmhmm”). Or even all three.
77. Manipulators’ tactics are rooted in psychology. Learning psychology is a must for self-defense against such people, for our own happiness and well-being
78. People are motivated by self-interest first, then altruism and charity
79. People who speak more than one language have been known to switch personalities without meaning to when they switch between languages
80. Looks ARE everything: Our preference for certain physical characteristics of the opposite sex are rooted in evolutionary psychology: women generally prefer tall men with broad shoulders (hunter-gatherer body physique); men generally prefer women with wide hips which imply the ability to birth lots of children